As I drifted to sleep at Wanie’s the other day, I talked to myself (again). I rarely do this outside the confines of my bedroom because I’m afraid that I’ll talk in my sleep. Hopefully, I did not.

 

I argued with myself on how I keep on waiting and never chasing. A part of me reason that I should do more chasing because waiting has never gave me anything more but more time alone. As if chasing fared better; it only leads to heartbreaks after being rejected.

 

At one point of our conversation (between me and my ex-housemates) of what we want in the future that night, I asked the “When will I have a boyfriend?” question out loud. More specifically, when will I meet The One?

 

To be honest, I don’t think of it that much these days; I have more pressing matters that I need to attend to (like the mysteries of Exchange Traded Funds >.<). I guess it was seeing Rudy happily married that brought the sad feeling of urgency to settle down.

 

Urgency? What am I talking about? Hell. I’m still young.

 

Then again, I have younger friends that are getting engaged and married right before my eyes. Even the receptionist at the office (who is my age) and my ex-classmate (who is a year younger) are carrying their first child. Despite the morning sickness, I’m envious of them.

 

Yuyu got it right when she said that it seems that time is still for the both of us while our friends are growing up. They’re worrying about future childcare while we still worry if we’ll get grounded if we don’t come home by a certain time. Point is, they’re taking the next step into adulthood, so to speak.

 

A male friend pointed out that we could have had all those a long time ago but we don’t because we’re choosy. Excuse me? Don’t I have the right to choose? Look what happen when you just settle for anything *points at Britney Spears*?

 

Another male friend said not to worry. There’s the right time for everything. A lady deserves to have someone profess his deepest love to her, sooner or later and to have that, I have to wait. Haven’t I waited long enough?

 

Sigh.

 

Whatever it is, as much as I would like to think that I gained some grounds by chasing, I’m probably treading empty air. I would rather wait and enjoy my singleness with my girls.

 

Any of my single girls would like to toast to that?