It has gotten normal for us (my brother and I) to be mistakenly identified as Chinese people. Fair skin, smallish eyes and button noses; who could blame them? Every so often I’ve people coming up to me and spoke in some form of Chinese dialect.

“Sorry miss. I thought you were a Chinese leng lui. Muka Cina, nama Melayu.” The guy behind the counter said after looking back and forth between my Student ID Card and face.

“Youngsters these days… never want to speak in their mother tongue!” An outraged popo complained after I said to her that I don’t speak any Cantonese.

I don’t mind the confusion really. I’m ¼ Chinese after all. Yes, I’m one of those mixed parentage product.

I do however hate that part of me when it is used as a so-called beauty scale; often times by my honey-skin friends. It’s one thing that it comes to their perception of attractiveness but another when society itself fuels it.

At one of the weddings I’ve attended:

Aunty 1: The groom’s good looking but the bride is umm…
Aunty 2: Not that pretty? Yea but at least she’s fair
My Friend: (Nudge me hard) See… it’s a plus having fair skin even when you’re not pretty. It’s always “not beautiful BUT fair” and “not beautiful AND dark”.

Ouch! (I’m not what you would call ‘head turner’ but I’m cute always ^^)

Despite the fact that I can get away being unpretty since I’ve fair skin, it doesn’t really make a difference. I still have acne (loads of it). I still have red blotches and scarred easily because it’s sensitive. And contrary to popular beliefs, I don’t always (never really) get the guy.

Even though I inherited the Oriental look, I was not cut or built like DivaMom. Instead, I had RockerDad’s height (which I’m grateful of) and structure; boxy with wide shoulders that would put a swimmer’s to shame and a big head (for real). Yet, I’m blessed with curves.

I know I make myself look like Frankenstein but it’s true. Having the ‘mixed genes’ aren’t all that it’s hyped up to be.

They’re clichés but I still believe in them. Beauty is only skin deep and it is in the eye of the beholder. I had a crush once that said to me that I’m too pale for his liking and about a gorgeous friend of mine he said “Not pretty at all. Not much going on in there *taps head*… Tsktsk” (not the nicest thing to say I know). He is now married to a caramel dipped doctor (IMHO I look cuter XD).

P/s: Darlings, you’re pretty enough as it is. Don’t make it turn the other way round with all those products.