Mr. & Mrs. Velcro

Have you ever been a part of a Velcro couple? You know, the clingy type of couples who can’t bear the absence of each other for a good whole hour? I haven’t. Thank goodness for that (RockerDad would have a heart attack when he receive my phone bill). I know a few though.

One of these Velcro couples happens to be close friends of mine. So close in fact that one half of the twosome was a housemate of mine. Let me describe the severity of their Velcro-ness. They would often talk on the phone and by often, I meant every waking hour. They go out almost every day for at least 3 hours at a time (which to me is too much dating time for a couple that has been together for 2 years) and would continue on with a phone call when she’s already settled in her room. Her roommate often finds herself crossing the hall to my room just to escape all the mushiness.

I frequently find myself with her in conversations like this:

Me: Don’t you ever get bored?
Her: Of what? Each other? I don’t think so ^^
Me: But, what do you guys talk about all day, every day?
Her: About everything. There’s always things to talk about. If it’s not about us, it’s about other people.
Me: Well at some point you must’ve run out of things to say.

(Note: Fine. These two are the most talkative people I ever knew. If they don’t have things to talk about, they’ll create something)

I had asked them (on different occasions) “How come you’re so clingy to him/her? I know you can stand on your two feet.” They both had the same answer; they were possessive of each other’s companion.

No wonder I can’t fathom Velcro-ness. I’ve never been the possessive type. I’m not the one to question and need to know where/ who/ what/ when of him every minute of the day. I don’t believe that being together means being joined at the hips. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care though.

With that said, the couple I mentioned is not as bad as some other couples. They do their own thing; she with her love for fortune, him with his love for fame. They have their own set of friends that usually don’t hang out with each other (some of her friends have a strong dislike for his >.<). They don’t ’share’ a brain; they are their own person.

FYI, I’m not condemning all the Mr. & Mrs. Velcro. Do as you please but could you do me a favor? Tone down on the PDA thing (I’m embarrassed by it), please. Pretty, pretty please with a shiny red cherry on top. Thank you ^^

I Am More Malay Than What You Give Me Credit For

Over the years, I have been told that I am too westernized; that I don’t have an ounce of Malay-ness in me. Are you kidding me?

I can read and write in Jawi. I can speak and write in Malay (even though it’s questionable) and am not ashamed of it. I don’t think I would appear stupid if I do. It’s just so happens that English is my language of choice. Plus, I don’t swear in Malay; I don’t want to degrade the language.

I can be loud and opinionated but I’m also shy and demure. It’s not pretentious because I am shy and demure.

I have never disrespect my elders. Despite my rebel nature to not conform, I’m always obedient. I never raise my voice to them. I don’t want to be accused of being a anak derhaka.

Yes, I’ve been into non-muhrim men’s house without supervision of theirs or mine muhrim (egads!). Yes, I’ve spent my time there into the ungodly hours of the day. Still, I make sure that there are other people with us. I don’t spend my nights there, much less sleep with them. I still know my boundaries and still hold on to my values. I don’t sleep around.

I don’t smoke nor do I drink. I don’t go clubbing my weekend nights away. I’d rather stay home with my family. I’d rather hang out with my friends and stay sober.

The Malays are supposedly known for their sopan santun, don’t they? I always give up my seat in the waiting room/LRT to the people that need it more. I always say please and thank you even to the waiter from the shabby gerai because he had served me. How many Malays actually do that? Out of the people I know, I can count them with the fingers on my hands and maybe the toes on my feet.

Sushi and pasta are my favorite foods but at the end of the day, I would still crave asam pedas ikan pari and laksa (don’t ask which kind of variety do I favor because I love them all). I can’t live without sambal; I would demand for a sambal dish when there’s none. Just because I’m a city girl, it doesn’t mean that I don’t eat ulam. My first trip to KB saw me downing a variety of ulam (some of which I never heard of but equally liked); it was ulam heaven.

Skinny jeans, short shorts, tube tops, tank tops and other revealing items of clothing are not what I wear (I wouldn’t even if I could). I dress modestly most of the time. I prefer baju kurungs and kebayas. I also know how to wear my kain batik gracefully without the help of belts or strings.

I have friends from all three major races of different genders, backgrounds, socio-economy standings and marital status in the country. I also have friends from other parts of the world. I love knowing new people. I treat them equally and without any prejudice.

I rarely listen to Malay songs or watch Malay movies. I have a strong dislike for Mawi and even though I love UiTM, I hate the movies one of its lecturers produces. However, I do support the industry. I listen to Estranged (I think the drummer’s hot ^^), Hujan, Meet Uncle Hussain and recently Flow (okay, this may be biased because Jijot’s the front man ^^) and hope that they’ll go far. I loved watching Sepet and Cinta. Jangan Pandang Belakang written by Pierre Andre was great. I haven’t watched all of the movies he has played in but I have a soft spot for Afdlin Shauki.

Yes, I prefer English movies and music but I’m not jakun when I see Caucasians, the men especially, around Suria KLCC, Ampang or Bangsar. I don’t stop and stare (unless it really can’t be helped ^^); it’s rude. I don’t throw myself at them like some local girls would. I’m a shy, demure baju kurung clad Malay girl, after all.

I have traveled to other countries and they are tempting but I am a Malay girl and this is where I am rooted. I’m not going anywhere. This is where I want to be despite its imperfectness. I am thankful to be born a Malay Malaysian. Even though I’m constantly mistaken to be a Chinese girl, I never forget my Malay roots. I am more Malay than you think.

Now, don’t you think you don’t give me enough credit?

Snippets from My Life

The last Ramadhan saw me and B stranded in front of Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam after breaking fast with unsatisfying Mexican food. We were talking and B pointed out that she tried Brand’s InnerShine Prune Essence.

Me: I read that in your blog. So which is better; prune or chicken?

B: Depends. You want to be pretty or smart?

Me: Both!

(Yes. I’m greedy. I want to be pretty AND smart.)

********

I was in the LRT alone, minding on my own business when somewhere in between Setiawangsa and KLCC, some boys walked in. They stared until one of them came up to me.

Him: Hi. (Giving me his dimpled smile)

Me: Hello. (I swear if this happened when I was 17, I would have just have an alarmed look on my face xD)

Him: My name’s (something that I can’t remember). Can I have your number?

Me: O.o Err… umm… adik… (Hint: Box folder with Kasturi’s card visible)

Him: No. No. I’m your age or maybe a year older. So don’t call me adik. (Smiled that smile again)

Me: (What??) Okayy… I’m 23 by the way.

Him: Really? (With a confused look and a hint of a disappointment (?) in his voice)

Me: Really. (With an apologetic smile)

I didn’t give him my number anyways. That would be wrong. If only he was a few years older. I can now use Kak Nini’s “Kenapa semua yang suka I yang muda-muda?” line xD

********

Spending a few hours with Vishul and Dixon the other day was hilarious. Just so you know, I haven’t seen a speck of these two for almost 5 years.

Vishul: For Christ’s sake, stop it! (He was annoyed with something that I can’t remember)

B: But I don’t believe in Christ

Vishul: I know. Me too xD It just sounds good

(I was laughing and I think at this point, Dixon was pulling on the hairs on my arm. Don’t ask me why.)

On our way to Sunway, from Vishul’s place, a car was annoyingly umm… annoying. Out of the blue,

Dixon: Allah…!!!

Me & B: What??

Dixon: What????

B and me were practically discussed how perfect the pronunciation, the tone, the precise usage and all other aspects of it for a good 5 minutes or so. Dixon was laughing all the way.

Me: Some things can only happen in Malaysia :p

What Would You Do If You Had The Chance To Tell Me Anything?

It all started with an incoming SMS from B:

“Finish the sentence: ‘I always wanted to tell u that ………’ send it to all ur frens n see the unexpected ans! Reply me first”

I replied back to B with “I wish I could do what you do with words. You are my role model” (well, not exactly that but something along that line ).

To which she replied “Aww, that is so flattering *hugs* I wish I hav ur aptitude in numbers!”

After all these years of friendship, we both wish that we each have the other’s ability. Thing is, I think she would make a better actuary than I would because it’s not only about the numbers but also how well you understand the problem and articulately solve it without ever mentioning the digits. On the other hand, she thinks I’m the lucky one because even though I have this prowess with figures, I can write a decent article with ease (which is not always).

I wished I hadn’t texted her that message though because she always hears that from me. I would have said the other thing that always tugs my heart when I remember it instead. Another time maybe?

So on my part, I sent a few SMSes to the people in my contact list including my housemates (now ex), Shairah, Jijot, Senpai Piah, Hiz, Hanie and Ayuni.

The now ex-housemates:

Sarah said “I always wanted 2 say that u r cute n ‘besh d lengan’… Hahahahaha”

Of all the things she could have told me, she chose this. Silly girl. When she said ‘besh d lengan’ she meant that my upper arms are great substitutes when no pillows are around for her to land on :p

“‘u r sweet n nice gurl n also u r my best friend’ hehe ko jgn t’snym2 plak… Ni ikhlas dr ak bkn tpu2 tau J” was what Wanie SMSed back.

If anyone who thinks otherwise, please call her up and tell why am I not sweet and nice because I’m not even sure if I’m sweet and nice Another thing is that she’s also sweet and nice, so she won’t say bad things (hopefully) about me.

I’m not sure if I should put what she sent back but I know he won’t read this so here’s what Meks said:

“I always wanted to tell you that I love… … … … hafiz… Muahahaha!”

God, please don’t let him read this post (but if you think it’s a good thing for both of ‘em, please make sure Hafiz makes his way here ok?)

Shairah on the other note was very honest about her reply:

“I always wanted 2 tell u that I’m definitely cuter than u :p haha… esp when u’re nt wearing any make up… haha… serious!”

All I have to say is that I DON’T wear tons of make up. I only wear a dash of blusher and gloss to flush my pale face ok. On the other hand, I don’t care if she’s cuter than me (which she is by the way). I do care however that I don’t have a face that people would translate to ‘evil’ like Ira does xD (This is the most ‘angelic’ piccie of Ira that I can find. I however, look like I’m tipsy)

I didn’t expect much from the boys. I mean, they don’t exactly respond to idle SMSes right? Honesty is something I treasure most between friends but what Jijot wanted to let me know was something that I’m not sure I would want to know :p “I like 2 dig my nose…” he said. Gross ain’t it? Senpai Piah on the other hand reminded me that “I always wanted to tell u that I still owe u McD n dvd of ‘1 litre of tears’ movie! Uhu… ” Seriously, even though I still want those things, I expected him to say something else ^_^ Then there’s Hiz, who said “U such a good senior… hehe…” By the way, I’m only 1 semester ahead of this guy but he still thinks that I have a lot of seniority.

Hanie and I have known each other for 13 years. We were in the same class through Primary 4 to 6, went to the same high school and still keep in touch now and then. She SMSed back saying that “I always want to tell you that I like yr house interior design ” Thanks to DivaMom, the house is pretty and comfy (the same can’t be said to my shipwreck-like room). This reminds me that I’ve yet to set foot on Hanie’s newly (not that new actually) renovated house. I should drop by and say hello soon :p

I wonder though, at the end of the day, why aren’t there any not nice things being said to me. I mean, that’s the whole point of me sending the SMS; to give a chance for somebody to open up and say their discomforts about me. Then again, there’s a saying that goes “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, better to not say anything at all”. Still, I would rather know my flaws than repeating it over and over again.

My favorite reply would come from Ayuni (a.k.a. Yuyu) who sent “U’re like my big sister?! *evn th0 d0nt hv 1*” Isn’t that sweet of her? Before she sent me this message, Syaz, in an earlier conversation, said that Yuyu treats me like I’m her Kakak. I don’t mind being her Kakak because I see her like a younger sister that I could have had if DivaMom had girls instead of boys :p

These are what my friends wanted to tell when I gave them the chance to. So, if it were you, what would you have told me?

Eat, Pray, Love

The past few months has seen me floating around myself vaguely through every day. I had become Janus; that with one face I smile while the other would weep. Sure, every person who sees me every day would say that I seemed okay; that I’m always my cheery (in my own dark and twisty way) self. Behind closed doors (or more accurately, behind the privacy of my laptop screen), I would emerge into my disruptive side. I was aware of this, yes.

I was afraid that maybe I would be depressed; that I would actually need doses of Prozac for me to be able to feel some sort of normalcy again.

Selfishness. That was the root of the problem that I revealed one morning after a fitful sleep the night before. Everything had started with my own variations of selfishness. According to a fortune teller (of all people) once had told me that I’m a giver by nature. That by giving, I would stay in balance and I’ve been doing a good job of it (I was 16 or 17 then). All I did at that time was smile, drop a few coins and left with Syafira as quick as I could. (This happened at Central Market and who knew what crazy people are out there.) What I’m trying to say is that I think I was out of my balance.

I decided, in the end, to retreat myself to my paradise; the one place that I could actually find some solace. It turns out that all my weary soul needed was to eat, pray and love to my heart’s content. (The fact that I borrowed B’s copy of “Eat, Pray, Love” was not to make it my guidebook but more of a relaxing read. It did, however, provide a good title for this post.)

So here was what I discovered:

In the midst of all craziness that happened in my final semester, I had selfishly denied my body of the nutrients that it needed. I had denied it my time of nourishing it with good things; substituting wholesome food with fast food. I had also selfishly indulged myself with unnecessary ice cream and brownies whenever I feel stressed of the workload. I skipped breakfast (which I never did before), starve myself when I feel guilty of overindulging and snacked on junk in the middle of the night. In its attempt to cope, my body had burnt itself out.

I dreaded the fact that I had to actually cook food (which I used to love) when I came back home. I guess my body had a jolt and was shocked by the change that it made me even more lethargic. During my retreat period, I chow down on loads of fruits and veggies; stocking back all the vitamins and minerals. I guess that helped a lot and now my body had recover from its unwilling slumber.

Religious and spiritual were never words used to describe me. Still, I always try my best to keep up with my 5 daily prayers. In the past months I had selfishly sacrificed God for more time to either finish my work or take time off to nap. No wonder I feel unsettled; my soul had lack enlightenment.

For one week now, I try to amend this part of my balance. So far, I had performed all 5 daily prayers dutifully. For days that I could not, I meditate each morning before I leave the bed. I opened up to God in hopes he would hear me. With that, I had also made sure to recite some prayers before I go to sleep. I sleep better now and I’m less aggravated these days. I’m glad He had given me the chance to be good again.

Did I mention that I’m a giver in nature? I, in the past month, had turned the other way round. I had become selfish in every sense that’s possible with the people around me. I had been selfish with my family, friends and also nenek. I had refused them my attention because I wanted some on me. When that did happened, I get annoyed and did not appreciate any of it. I think for this, God had punished me quickly and severely; what God gives, He takes back. I had lost friendships, if you had noticed.

Someone wise once told me that “To love others, you have to love yourself unconditionally first. Be kind to yourself and you will learn to love.” In one week, I had been kinder and less judgmental with myself and I found it’s easier to do the same to others when you had learned to accept yourself first.

From my little retreat, I have found myself again. I’m thankful of that because I was ready to either be suicidal (God forbids!) or medicated (I forbid!) if things would make me feel much worse than it had.

In despair, I had rebuild my soul from the depth of a dark hole and back to the right path (hopefully). I feel like I’ve stepped back and grown up (Shairah had been amazed by this evolvement). I still think that I’m off-balance but self improvement is a continuous thing right?

Julia Tagged Me >.<

As the title suggest, Julia tagged me (which is not necessarily a bad thing xD).

List out Top 5 Presents You Wish for & the Reason for Your Choices

1. A new digital camera

   I love the Canon PowerShot SD750 (is it even available in Malaysia?) because it’s compact. As much as I want to own a DSLR, I don’t think it’s quite practical for me. My old (but reliable) Canon? I think it’s time to have a little bit of upgrading. Don’t you think?

2. Books

   Just because I love, love, love reading. I like reading about everything really; from chick lit to Sufism, I’d read them all if I have them.

3. Cole Haan Shoes

   Did you know that Cole Haan heels use Nike Air technology? Say hello to comfort and style ladies. If you want to get me footwear but can’t afford Cole Haan, that’s ok. I’d settle with a pair of Ipanema G2B. Thank you in advance ^-^

4. Dell Inspiron 1520

   Possibly one in Black. My mum actually bought one in Red so that I could do my Project Paper with some sense of sanity (my old Latitude is a wee bit cuckoo). Overall, I’m very satisfied with the laptop though I do think they placed the speakers in a very odd place.

5. Pajamas

   I love pajamas especially the really cute cotton ones. They’re comfy to wear to bed and decent enough to trot around the house in. Like the ones from Victoria Secret and La Senza.

The Person Who Tagged You is Julia, one of my girlfriends since high school.

5 Impressions of Him/Her

1. Talkative
2. A drama queen
3. Creative
4. Cares about others
5. Hyperactive (I don’t think it’s possible for her to not do something for a long while. The reason why she went back to Penang to be a RA is because she has yet to get a job in KL after being home for a while, which was like tak sampai one month pun according to B)

Most Memorable Thing She /He Had Done For You

Did I mention that she’s creative and hyper? Back in those school days in SAB, she used to do art works most of her free time while I’m a sucker for handmade things. For my 16^th birthday, she made this really cute card for me. Not only that, she made the envelope too

5 Persons You Want to Tag

You, You, You, You and You

Thursday Thirteen #16

Thirteen Things That I Should Do

1. Find the floor of my bedroom. It’s lost under boxes, toys and other things that I’m not even sure of. FYI, I didn’t come home as often as I usually do. The room had been hijacked by my 15 year old brother and 10 year old sister.
2. Find myself a job. I’m currently a part of the unemployed graduate statistic. Yay!
3. Bake brownies for Natrah, Hafiz Jumal and Massita because I promised them that I would xD
4. Send my SC application form to my mom’s friend. thing is the questions are a bit too long for me. I have a short attention span.
5. Get my black peep toe pumps’ heel fixed. I shouldn’t have worn it when I knew I’d be walking on gravel. Sheesh.
6. Re-arrange my wardrobe so that some things will soon not be ‘lost’. Since moving my clothes and stuff from the Shah Alam house back to home, everything has been a lil’ bit confused with where this and that goes.
7. Call Mek Jah. I haven’t talked to her in 3 weeks O.o
8. Go on a holiday. A really big one. Nazchan, would you take me in if I fly over there?
9. Shopping. Do I need a reason?
10. Finish all my books. 5 down, another stack on the table to go.
11. Get a new phone because my current one keeps on dying on me even though the battery is full. Then again, I need to do #2 first before I get to buy one.
12. Complete this list.
13. Update the blog more often >.<