I’m No Longer She

I hate surprises. Have I mentioned this before? Oh, how I hate them. Those moments when your heart rapidly palpating like crazy. I really, really hate them.

The worst kind is when formerly close people reappear into your life. Unannounced, if I may add. It’s like the appearance of that person is intrusive and invading your space.

Yes. We laughed and we joked. We dreamt of far away lands. We plan the things we would do. We played tricks. And most of all we talked about never ending friendship. Well, at least you did.

Really, am I to blame for being so distant? Is it really my fault for not being that person that you’ve used to?

The distance isn’t without reason. You were the reason that pushed me away. You were and still are the intrusive, accusive, controlling person I’ve ever met. You’re manipulative with every tear you shed, every word you said and every glance you plastered across your face. You never did change but I did and I will change some more.

I was this mouse back then but now I’m a bird. I’m no longer in your shadow. No longer am I stomped on. I now fly with my own air. I no longer care of what you think of me nor how you might feel. I love myself and my heart more.

So yes, I prefer to not have you around. I don’t hate you. You’re just too toxic to be around. Maybe in time, things will change but for now let me be. So don’t try to intrude or control or accuse me of things that are not true.

When Japanese Geishas & French Maid Meet

Yesterday the whole class (well, almost the whole class) broke fast together. It was sort of majlis buka puasa / birthday celebration. While Wanie and me both turned 22, Beeha finally turned the legal age of 21.

It was fun night out even though it was kept short due to Maghrib prayers. We, as always, were the noisiest group of people there. Kecoh satu Padang Jawa ok.

This is what I posted on Friendster yesterday;

To Sheen, Naz, Anwar, The Dancing Freak,
Sya a.k.a Modjo, Mek Jah, Sarah Gila
Glam, Wanie Hohe, Yuni, Myto, Wanie
Kedah and Naqi, THANK YOU FOR SPENDING
MORE OR LESS 15c on THE BIRTHDAY SMSes
=) I love you guys loads.

To Julia, Fae, Hadzrix, Nazua, Eda Mama
Miow, Bal, Hafiz, Ijad, Peanut and
Shairah the social conformist monkey,
THANKS FOR WRITING THE BEST WISHES xD I
appreciate them so much.

To Mek Jah and Sarah Gila Glam, again,
thanks for PJs. Love it.

p/s: Ijad, do u seriously think i want
to get my period bulan2 puasa ni?
Takdenye nak ngada2 nye xD

Thanks again people for remembering me and wishing me well *hugs & kisses*

My fave SMS the whole day would be that little thing involving Campbell Instant Soup Packet =)

Soulmates

As I limped on the passenger’s side of the car the other day, I saw something that made my day. In the car next to ours’ was an old couple.

The were giggling the way teenagers do. Looked at each other like newlyweds do. The old man kissed his wife’s hand like courting couple do. All while waiting for the lights to turn green and their son in the car.

I envy them. I wish I will be like that when I reach that age. No. I want to be them. All lovey dovey until the day God decides to take either one of us from another.

Thursday Thirteen #14

Thirteen Things that I like about MHJ (Guess who y’all)

 

1. His commitment to himself and his family.
2. He makes me feel 10 feet tall every time I feel so small.
3. The way he shows how much he cares.
4. His ability to make me miss him even when he’s there.
5. The way he teases me.
6. His love for food.
7. Things that he does that reminds me of RockerDad.
8. His willingness to learn new things.
9. His balance of seriousness and goofiness.
10. His little secrets.
11. His way of making me want to cry and coaxing me out of it seconds after that.
12. His understanding even though sometimes we don’t think alike.
13. That he is he and no one else.

Thursday Thirteen #13

Thirteen Things in Birthday List #1

 

1. A person whose name starts and ends with the same letter and whose nickname rhymes with TAPAI (Hehehe).
2. The Plain White T’s Every Second Counts.
3. Sophie Kinsella’s Shopahollic & Baby.
4. Fluffy pillows.
5. A gay bestie who can immaculately design and make clothing items for me.
6. Drizzling rain on the September 24th, 2007.
7. 2 scoops of Baskin Robbins‘ Jamoca Almond Fudge (Yummy!).
8. Hugs and lots of ‘em.
9. A tall Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks.
10. No classes on September 24th, 2007.
11. Have an ordinary Birthday dinner plus cake =D
12. New jeans in a flared cut.
13. No. 1 over and over again xD

I’m keeping it simple this time around. Okay… so numbers 1, 5, 6 and 13 are much to hope for but a girl can dream right?