Syawal Update

It’s been a while eh?

14 days into Syawal now and I’m sure it’s still viable for me to say Selamat Hari Raya to everyone. I hope your Eid had been wonderful in more ways than one.

My Ramadan had a sweet ending, judging by the desserts I consumed the night before the eve of Hari Raya. Jules managed to organize an Iftar gathering at Pavilion for us girls (sans Aira, Fadil & Hanie and together with Azid, Muthu and Kak Harim). Jules blogged about it here.

The family went back to Rawang the eve of Hari Raya. I think I slept early that night… or at least I tried too :p Sleeping over there still feels foreign. Don’t get me wrong but I just don’t like staying over >.<

Oh and this year we had a family photo session, thanks to the fact that Kipphi has this Hari Raya assignment thing.

Drive safe, eat moderately and have fun. Selamat Hari Raya from the family =)

Surprisingly, the day after we came back from Rawang, I was out and about again for food. I was anticipating a few days of rest Went to Rashid’s at the last minute but it was great to see Wan, Maria and Ikin after a long while.

We may look a tad bit different but we have never looked better =)

The next Syawal celebration in tow would be my birthday on the 24th. Little did I know, a Syawal miracle happened on the 23rd.

23 September 2009, 12.14 pm a baby girl was brought into the world. Although I tried coaxing her out earlier than the 29th September due date, I was not ready to get the news of her arrival a day earlier.

Aunty Nana loves you =*

This is by far one of the greatest thing to happen for/on my birthday ^_^

Birthday celebration was great. It was well spent with Syafira, my so-called twin, and Rashid. Thank you darlings =)

Thank yous are in place especially to those who remembered and sent their well wishes. Special thanks to Ayuni Amir for getting me the book that I wanted.

I actually just came in from a long day on the road. Heavy traffic makes one hungry but it’s a good thing when you are house hopping where food is finger licking good. Thanks Sarah and Mek Jah for inviting me for the trip. Thanks to Faizal for being our designated driver.

Have a merry Hari Raya people =)

Note: I hope to win Maybelline Simply Fabulous Giveaway from Beetrice’s Reviews. I’m in need of new beauty products and something new for my social calender =D

Favourite Scenes

Since June the lack of employment have made me resolve to a few things to occupy my time. Other than honing my writing and cooking skills (I would love to post pictures of the yummy food I made but according to NoktahHitam, that would be inconsiderate to the Holy month of Ramadan), I’ve been reorganizing my old VCDs and DVDs. Needless to say, I’ve been watching movies, drama series and anime almost non-stop.

Almost always I keep on repeating these scenes because I love them so much:

From Beauty & The Beast

From Serendipity

From Hanzakari no Kimitachi e

From Fruits Basket

From Full House (Korean)

From Twilight

From 10 Things I Hate About You

To tell you the truth, there’s more that I’ve watch than listed :p Can you just imagine sitting at home, with not much to do (other than my part time writing gig, housework and interview hopping). I’m almost done with my personal collection that I raid my brothers; which doesn’t really suit my fancy since it’s way too packed with Gundam, Kamen Rider and non-PG13 shoujo anime >.<

I better go check my eyes soon. I may need to upgrade the lense -_-’

It’s September, Baby!

In 23 days time, I’m going to turn another year older. I’m not sure if I should be =) or =( about it. I’m fickle, I know >.<

Every year, I most definitely make a wishlist. Last year, I had one but since I’ve gotten everything that I wanted before my birthday, there was no point in posting it here or Facebook =p

This year, I’ve decided that I want these:

Yuyu, I expect you to get me this :p

I’ve been meaning to get these books for a long while but never came around to actually buy them. I really hope that I could get them in my collection this year.

Cute aren't they?

I love these handmade clutches/ wristlets from She’s stuck Between Punk and Retro since I’ve discovered them in my bouts of blog hopping. Last year I missed the order session and was hopping that it would re-open soon. If you can find something similar to these, do let me know. Better still, if you could give them away as my birthday pressie xD

I love got milk? ad campaigns

Since I’ve yet to secure a job, I might as well take on my college dream job as a Starbucks barista while I wait. Wish me luck with it okay =)

Pretty aren't they?

I’ve been looking for a turquoise necklace for a while now. Although I love shorter ones like above, I really do think that a longer strand looks better on me, like my long strands of pearls that was one of my birthday pressies last year *loves*

The best thing about my birthday is that it’s going to be during Hari Raya, which means not only because of the great company and I can request for some yummy food :p

Aishah, I'll be waiting for these ^_^

Thanks in advance to Aishah and Yuyu (assuming je ni :p) for the birthday pressies. I hope everyone is enjoying your Ramadan and I hope you make the most of it.

I Love Snapshots

“To me, photography is an art of observation. It’s about finding something interesting in an ordinary place… I’ve found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them.”

Elliott Erwitt

I have always admire art. Though I can’t seem to ‘get’ classic masterpieces (think Michelangelo or da Vincci), I love modern art. Be it Art Nouveau or Pop Art, I can almost always fell in love with an artwork. My favourite kind of modern art is definitely photography.

A camera is my favourite toy to play with no matter what form it takes in; phone camera, digital compact camera or a DSLR. What I love most about photography is that it’s doesn’t always turn out the way that you would imagine it. It’s always a pleasant surprise.

Teh Tarik Satuuu!: My attempt of a Bokeh shot

Let Me Go Home: A Shot Made By My Phone Camera

Hawa @ The Playground: A protraiture of the crazy housemates

Good enough for a novice no?

There’s one thing that keeps me from being behind the lens though; I love being in front of it even more ^_^

When I’m not playing “Photographer”, I almost always delude myself that I could be a model (it can happen, you know). I’m a closeted Camwhore, yes. And who can blame me if my pictures turn out good 80% of the time.

Yummy Gummy Mummy as quoted from Eda =)

Oriental Garden

Bunny Mummies

I Don’t Have A Best Friend

A friend came to my home away from home one day and told the problems she had with her best friends. While she narrates, me and a few other friends listened quietly and emphatized. At the end of her sobs, she told me they had broken up. We were amused by this and did not hesitate to tell her so.

For us, we don’t use the term ‘best friend’ to describe our closests friends. There is no need to say to the world “Hey, this is my BEST FRIEND,” and later when the friendship turns sour, everyone would somehow use the term to justify ‘getting back together’.

Personally, I have never used the term since I was nine and am not ashamed to admit it. The distraught friend said that was ‘the saddest thing I’ve ever heard’. Not for me, because I am blessed with with soul mates that I can depend on. I’m lucky that every step of my life, I have found someone that could be with me through the end.

The moon must've been blue because everyone was there :p

There’s the girls that I spent five years with in high school. Yes, we went our ways after SPM (Neng went away after PMR) but we somehow found time to spare to get together, eat, talk and catch up. I must admit that I’ve never been close with every single one of them at the same time but nevertheless, we run in the same circle and that was kept us close. We had bouts of disagreements/ dislike with each other but sooner or later we drift back together. For us, it was a natural thing without anything to force or be forced.

I miss my crazy housemate

Then there’s the girls that I shared a household with for two years. What’s great about sharing a home with them was that we’re polar opposites but we managed to find a way to tolerate each other. And I must say that we balance each other out with our personalities and interests. While two of us don’t mind spending the night out, the other two wants to be safe in our home. While two of us are neat freaks, the other two care less about sweeping and dusting. Try putting a devil-may-care person, a high strung mouse, a depositary and a frugal person together in a house and see if they can handle two whole years together.

Somehow we have the same brainwave

When I first saw this small yet intimidating girl, I would never though she could be possible stay with me until the end. We don’t really see eye to eye but we get the point of each other’s rather bizzare rationale. What freaks us more is that we usually think about the same things at almost the same time. How cool is that? I think out of all my girls, she’s the most honest (and probably, if possible, most vain ) with me.

They’ve supported me (in their own way) as much as I have supported them. Other than that, they share the same traits; they’re fun, funny and total camwhores. I love these girls and it’s impossible to love them less.

Okay. This is the last self-pitying post… for now.

After all, most of us are not as happy or as miserable as we think we are. The important thing is not to get bored with living your life or having hopes.

Self-Pitying Post: Contradictions

One morning I woke up with a thought on my mind; a thought that I just realized why am I am here now. A thought that I’m most afraid of would happen to me.

When people ask “Why do you want to continue your Master’s Degree?” or “Why do you want to do it overseas?” I realized that I’ve never answered them truthfully to person asking them. These questions are not without answers that are not thought thoroughly. It’s just seems like I’m unable to answer them truthfully.

The decision to continue with a postgraduate study has never been driven by the thought of money; if it was, I would finish my professional papers instead. For me, it’s just to add to my first degree in terms of the skills that would allow me to explore other opportunities without that qualification barrier standing in the way.

This was a promise that I made to myself. I promised that after a year’s worth of experience in the financial industry, I would continue with my studies. It’s a little over a year now (despite I only gain 9 months of investment banking insight) but it’s okay. I believe that opportunity comes when it should come. Hopefully, maybe, next year will be the year for promised fulfillment.

Then there’s the question of going abroad. It’s not that the education system here is not good enough, I owe my lifetime of education achievements (and failures) to the Malaysian education system, it’s just that (a) the program that I want to take up is not available here and (b) the version of it is not as flexible and extensive as they would abroad.

Then there’s this feeling of me being this worldly person and yet I’m only confined to this one continent that I call home. Please don’t think that I feel like I’m better than everyone else, because I’m not. It’s just that I’m always trying to reach to another culture and almost never get to experience them (my fascination with the Japanese culture does not stop with manga and Harajuku). Sure there’s always the World Wide Web but it is not the same. People talk about globalization and yet, how many people could say they actually experience what they know firsthand? I wish to be one of those who is intrigued, researched and experience the different settings around the world not only as a person who looks at it through the small window.

These are my honest to God answers but somehow when people ask these questions, I’ve never give them these answers. Stupid, I know.

It was that morning that I realized that I have been doing this for a while; probably the reason I’ve never been awarded with the results that I want. This is my utter most fear. Consciously, I’m saying all of these but deep down in my subconscious mind, I may reject it. I don’t know if it’s because something that I fear or what, regardless of the reason, I’m scared for my failure to fulfill my own promise.

I no longer wish to deny myself of what I deserve and yet, I keep on doing it.

I’m currently in a deep, dark hole that I dug myself but I know it’s not the end of the world. All I could do is to do the best that I can do now but for now I wish to dwell in the deep, dark hole a little while longer.

Self-Pitying Post: Acceptance

I wonder what goes in her mind when she asked RockerDad, “Why haven’t my grandchildren come and see me?” I have no idea if she’s sincerely missing us or just because she would show us off to the old lady parked beside her at the hospital.

It’s not like we hate her. We just have a mild dislike for her. We (my brothers, sister and I) have never really talked about it but I can sense it in the way they behave when we’re around RockerDad’s childhood home.

As long as I could remember, I’ve never been comfortable around the paternal side of my family, especially with my grandparents. It was as if we have to compete for their love, affection and acceptations with our cousins who live together with them.

Because of that, I’ve strive educationally. I was never going to be the beautiful one, so why bother? I was never waif enough, never tall enough, never delicate enough. I can only put the bar high educationally. That was what I thought.

When my aunt’s eldest child was accepted into college, my grandma gushed and fussed about the whole thing. During the kenduri doa selamat, she asked her brother to read the doa to give thanks for the honor of her first grandchild going off to college. Bear in mind that at that time, I was already in UiTM and was in my final Diploma year; a point my Nek Su pointed out. What’s more, my brother (who is the same age as the celebrated cousin) had also secured a place in college at the same time.

I was not there at the ceremony but it hurt nonetheless. Not only it’s hurtful because it is insulting to me but also because of the accomplishment that my brother had obtained being overlooked. DivaMom told me this story and acted cool about it but I know there is some hurt flicker in her heart.

There are so many other things that I could dig up as evidence of our dislike; it’s just too much to say. From the persistence of coaxing me into doing something I’m totally against to the teasing of my sister’s inability to fluently communicate in Malay.

Whoever said that love in unconditional must have not met this woman.

As I said earlier, I don’t hate her. She’s flesh and blood after all. Now she’s getting sick and seemingly deteriorating, I guess she might want to fill the void that is the five of us. And as mean as it may sound, I’m not the person to openly give her that. I don’t think I am able to.

She has turned my heart to stone.

In Honor of Her 24th Year

PlumPlum with Jules' SLR

Once there were two friends, Sugar Plum (aka PlumPlum) and Pumpkin Pie (aka PiePie). They were aquainted through mutual friends and they were cordial enough to each other. Upon meeting PlumPlum, PiePie was in awe of her perfect features and rosy cheeks. Those same features soon made PiePie sickly orangy complexion green with envy. Despite PlumPlum’s charm, Piepie was apprehensive towards her.

It was not until a couple of years later that PiePie changed her mind about PlumPlum. She loved the other’s company a lot. PlumPlum was also a sort of role model for PiePie. Even though Piepie seemed to have had an epiphany, PiePie was still envious of PlumPlum’s beuty. As shallow as it was, PiePie was still a teenager trying to learn to love who she was and it only took one person to make that happened.

One day, a naughty boy teased and taunted PiePie because of her imperfect, crooked teeth which was a very sensitive matter (and still is) to her. PlumPlum had heard this and her next words changed everything to PiePie. “Crooked teeth or not, PiePie is beautiful. Not everyone can see that but I do,” said PlumPlum.

It was a simple gesture and I am sure you don’t even remember it. You could not have said anything else that would boost my self-esteem at that time. When you recalled that incident when I had defended you about “baju kurung”, it was nothing compared to what you have imprinted in me that day.

This is for you, love.

Happy Birthday B!

Would You Rather Go Younger Or Older?

Vs.  

This question was thrown at me while chatting with a former colleague as we were discussing of the possibilities (or not) of Christiano Ronaldo gracing the women with his presence while the Manchester United team is in KL for the 2009 Asia Tour. This only came up because she was telling me the story of how her 13 years old daughter find that the fact that her mother is betraying her trust by having a crush on her footballer “boyfriend”. She find it somewhat threatening because let’s face the fact that my 30++ friend is still considered a bombshell.

Let’s consider the pros and cons of each, shall we?

Going Younger

With younger men, I think most women are concerned with the immaturity that these men possess as compared with their older counterparts. They are seen as a trait that leads to reckless abandonment, absentmindedness, an invincible mind set, lack of future outlook and lack of chivalry. When it come to being empathetic, younger men may have a harder time of putting themselves in another’s shoes. A friend pointed out those younger men gets jealous easily and are prone to infidelity because of their immaturity.

Of course, their immaturity may not much be a negative trait. Their carefree nature and lack of responsibilities makes them fun to be with and they let you forget the stress of your own busy life. They’ll keep you updated with the latest trends, music, hotspots and stuff. A big plus for me when it comes to dating younger men would be the lack of potential confrontations with psychotic exes.

My ex-colleague pointed that all that in the pros is good enough for a fling but what about when it comes to settle down, get married and have kids? All I have to say is that; give the poor bloke some time. He’ll straighten up his life and get mellow in time. If you really love and thinking of having a future with this much younger man (and he too is on the same wavelength), I’m sure that you wouldn’t mind being the one in the relationship to wear the pants for a while.

Going Older

When you think of dating and having a relationship with older men, the pros are endless. He’s more often than not are emotionally matured, well read, reached most of his life goals & ambitions and financially secured. His more “experienced” past makes him see the world with a broader perspectives. He’s has more understanding of what women needs, wants and actions. He’s charming and he’ll sweep you off your feet.

Of course, being older, he would likely have this sense of authority over you. He might think that you are too idealistic for the cruel reality of the world. And seeing that he is older, he may carry some relationship baggage from his past; crazy exes, children from previous marriage(s) etc. They also may be cynical of their pasts and set in their ways. Then there’s also the question of “Why exactly is this man STILL single?” As positive as the excuses may be (he is waiting for The One or the death of a spouse), there’s always that tingling doubt; Is he a bachelor for life? Is he a serial womanizer? Is he a closeted gay man?

Do keep in mind that these are my (limited experienced) views. I don’t really stand by them 100%; there are many exceptions including the frustrations when older men who behave like their younger counterpart are in their youths and the delight of finding younger men who are wise beyond their age.

Personally, I have no qualms of dating younger men even though I have been mostly attracted to men who are relatively older than me. The youngest person who I had a crush on was Syafiq, my former classmate. To my defense, Shairah had a bigger crush, ok. While the other girls may not agree, I find his immaturity coupled with his sense of responsibility and hints of budding maturity endearing. The emerging young Hollywood pack is a treat for the eyes as well with the likes of Taylor Lautner (he’s way too hot for his own good), Jesse McCartney and even Nick Jonas (yeah, yeah, laugh it off Yuyu).

As you can see, there are endless of possibilities and it all is subjective to personal preference. So to the guys who read this, I come in peace, and am not trying to stereotype any of you and the qualities above pertain to us women as well.

Note #1: I’m NOT a pedophile.
Note #2: Girls, I’m sorry if you puked when reading about Syafiq.
Note #3: Syafiq, don’t get big headed if you happened to read this ;p