Would You Rather Go Younger Or Older?

Vs.  

This question was thrown at me while chatting with a former colleague as we were discussing of the possibilities (or not) of Christiano Ronaldo gracing the women with his presence while the Manchester United team is in KL for the 2009 Asia Tour. This only came up because she was telling me the story of how her 13 years old daughter find that the fact that her mother is betraying her trust by having a crush on her footballer “boyfriend”. She find it somewhat threatening because let’s face the fact that my 30++ friend is still considered a bombshell.

Let’s consider the pros and cons of each, shall we?

Going Younger

With younger men, I think most women are concerned with the immaturity that these men possess as compared with their older counterparts. They are seen as a trait that leads to reckless abandonment, absentmindedness, an invincible mind set, lack of future outlook and lack of chivalry. When it come to being empathetic, younger men may have a harder time of putting themselves in another’s shoes. A friend pointed out those younger men gets jealous easily and are prone to infidelity because of their immaturity.

Of course, their immaturity may not much be a negative trait. Their carefree nature and lack of responsibilities makes them fun to be with and they let you forget the stress of your own busy life. They’ll keep you updated with the latest trends, music, hotspots and stuff. A big plus for me when it comes to dating younger men would be the lack of potential confrontations with psychotic exes.

My ex-colleague pointed that all that in the pros is good enough for a fling but what about when it comes to settle down, get married and have kids? All I have to say is that; give the poor bloke some time. He’ll straighten up his life and get mellow in time. If you really love and thinking of having a future with this much younger man (and he too is on the same wavelength), I’m sure that you wouldn’t mind being the one in the relationship to wear the pants for a while.

Going Older

When you think of dating and having a relationship with older men, the pros are endless. He’s more often than not are emotionally matured, well read, reached most of his life goals & ambitions and financially secured. His more “experienced” past makes him see the world with a broader perspectives. He’s has more understanding of what women needs, wants and actions. He’s charming and he’ll sweep you off your feet.

Of course, being older, he would likely have this sense of authority over you. He might think that you are too idealistic for the cruel reality of the world. And seeing that he is older, he may carry some relationship baggage from his past; crazy exes, children from previous marriage(s) etc. They also may be cynical of their pasts and set in their ways. Then there’s also the question of “Why exactly is this man STILL single?” As positive as the excuses may be (he is waiting for The One or the death of a spouse), there’s always that tingling doubt; Is he a bachelor for life? Is he a serial womanizer? Is he a closeted gay man?

Do keep in mind that these are my (limited experienced) views. I don’t really stand by them 100%; there are many exceptions including the frustrations when older men who behave like their younger counterpart are in their youths and the delight of finding younger men who are wise beyond their age.

Personally, I have no qualms of dating younger men even though I have been mostly attracted to men who are relatively older than me. The youngest person who I had a crush on was Syafiq, my former classmate. To my defense, Shairah had a bigger crush, ok. While the other girls may not agree, I find his immaturity coupled with his sense of responsibility and hints of budding maturity endearing. The emerging young Hollywood pack is a treat for the eyes as well with the likes of Taylor Lautner (he’s way too hot for his own good), Jesse McCartney and even Nick Jonas (yeah, yeah, laugh it off Yuyu).

As you can see, there are endless of possibilities and it all is subjective to personal preference. So to the guys who read this, I come in peace, and am not trying to stereotype any of you and the qualities above pertain to us women as well.

Note #1: I’m NOT a pedophile.
Note #2: Girls, I’m sorry if you puked when reading about Syafiq.
Note #3: Syafiq, don’t get big headed if you happened to read this ;p

If you feel distant from God, I can understand.
You see, so am I. That I am sure of.
And if you need to cry because of that, I can understand.
I do too.

I promise that I would not think less of you because pining means that you still remember.
I too still remember, even though it’s far in between.
As distant as you may feel you are, I know you are able to come back.
I believe that I too am able to come back.

It is because that we suffer, we would always seek Him.
And even though it is shameful to admit that we only
yearn for Him only when we suffer, the pain of it overcomes the shame.

As far as we may stray, we still remember
Help and divinity comes only from Him, this we are sure of.
If not, why as far away we may stray, we pine for Him?
Who else is there but Him?

My Glass is Half Full

Once, a person hated me because I was cheerful all the time.

Now, even I’m annoyed at my own positiveness. In fact, I’m so positive that I’m glad to have such feelings.

The news that I’ve been waiting painstakingly for so long has already come. It is not good. I can see my dreams and hopes crashing down in front of my eyes.

Just for a moment.

I then pulled myself up, reminding myself that some people have had harder life, even lesser opportunities. I am not giving up with what I want. I won’t let it. If I do, I give thee permission to slap some sense back into me.

To my friends and the lucky ones that gotten good news, I would like to say “Congratulations! You deserved it.”

Now, who wants to buy me drinks to celebrate your succcess and hopefully soon, mine as well? =)

To En. H

“The problem was, that you were my first and had set the bar high. Everyone else after you were incomparable. You impressed me.”

“What? Was I THAT memorable?”

“You were. Have confidence. Always. I really believed that you have the potential. Believe me, I know. I’m just sorry that we can’t guide you with us for the moment.”

I should have been sad when he said they wanted to let me go but I was happy with what he had said.

En. H, because of you I had treaded waters that I wouldn’t have thought twice to tread. You were optimistic with what I could do, even though I was sckeptical. For believing in me and opening the door to one possibility, I am forever grateful to you.

A Little Something for My Angel

I lost my baby today.

I lost her to life and no amount of tears and grief will bring her back. No amount of revenge would be worth it.

All that I could do now is to remember that she was special. All I could remember is how much I loved her and how she had made me happy for being as she was.

She was only three years old and I never spent much time with her. I always have been away since the day we brought her home. The only time I get to see her was during the weekends, that if I had free time for her. I know, I’m a horrible person for not spending time with her.

Did she feel loved enough? I don’t know. I don’t know if at her age and state, she could ever feel or be loved enough. I brought her toys and treats but were those enough?

I could never imagine how bad this would hurt. How could I? I had not anticipated this kind of attachment with her, with her being so young and I was not always there. 

 She had been an amazing child. She was behaved for a little one of her age. She was full of zest, running around the living room and exploring it with her little curiosity. She was aggressive when she was angry but she was the most manja little thing when she wants to be.

I miss her.

I’ll always miss her. How could I not? She grew up right before my eyes, every year. I will miss combing through her long hair and clipping up the front part off her eyes so that she could see better, even though she prefers it covering her vision.

There’s so much more I want to say, but I can’t. I want her back but I can’t have her.

I wish I could have told her that I love her, despites all the times she bit or scratched me, my little baby bunny Oshin.

Penang Trip =)

After a decade of being friends, the long anticipated trip to Penang was my first trip out of KL with my girlfriends from school. I think for the three of us (B, Sharifah and I), it was the chance to unwind and relax from hectic KL.

This was our first trip, to anywhere, on a train. The idea of it sounds romantic and nostalgic, no? Honestly, traveling by train at night is not the way to go. One, it was pitch black outside and I was waiting for a ghost to appear out the window. Two, we did not get sleep because we were afraid of missing our stop. Regardless, we safely arrive in the wee hours of the morning.

Let me just say that I enjoyed Penang a lot and would not mind to go up North again. B and Sharifah were great traveling companions and if we were to have another trip, I want to save a seat beside either of them =)

As for our hostess, she’s the best as she fed us well (B gaining 2.5 kg speaks for itself). Thanks Jules, you’re the best personal tour guide we could have.

To the three of them, thank you for the company and I can’t wait for our next trip.

Joke of the weekend:

As we pulled away from the KL Sentral Station platform

B : The train is moving. The train is moving. Eh, wait. Why is it moving backwards? Why isn’t it moving *signaling with hands* frontwards?

Me : Forward. The word is forward, darling.

B : Yes, yes. Eh, don’t tell my boss I said that, okay?

Me : Hahaha. Okay, okay.

When Did Everything Changed?

I was surfing the net and sporadically decided to drop by the class blog. I did not expect to find this. It made me tear up (stupid hormones). It’s going to be almost 1 year soon since the last day I had with my UiTM classmates and a lot has changed for us.

Life is fluid and it moves fast. You blinked and suddenly your friends are getting married and having babies. You go to endless weddings, housewarming parties and baby showers. Life’s never going to be the same as it was before. It’s new and exciting (yet scary and confusing), yes but if you think about it, it’s kind of sad.

Welcome to a new chapter of your life.

When did I grow up?

The last time I checked, I was happy to wake up in the morning and not dreading to go to work. The last time I checked, I can sleep at 2 a.m. without worrying that I would be late the next morning. The last time I checked, I was still excused when I made a mistake on my assignment and not to worry about potential legal risks. The last time I checked, I was happy and carefree and not counting the days as it goes by.

When did I become this adult?

If I could go back in time, I would say to my younger self to make a lot of memories to keep and share, cherish the time with friends and take advantage of all the opportunities that I had once passed.

But it’s only wishful thinking and reality bites in the ass. There’s no turning back. Ready or not, life goes on and you only have memories in hand.

 

Note: It’s a short entry but it feels good to write again =)

As I drifted to sleep at Wanie’s the other day, I talked to myself (again). I rarely do this outside the confines of my bedroom because I’m afraid that I’ll talk in my sleep. Hopefully, I did not.

 

I argued with myself on how I keep on waiting and never chasing. A part of me reason that I should do more chasing because waiting has never gave me anything more but more time alone. As if chasing fared better; it only leads to heartbreaks after being rejected.

 

At one point of our conversation (between me and my ex-housemates) of what we want in the future that night, I asked the “When will I have a boyfriend?” question out loud. More specifically, when will I meet The One?

 

To be honest, I don’t think of it that much these days; I have more pressing matters that I need to attend to (like the mysteries of Exchange Traded Funds >.<). I guess it was seeing Rudy happily married that brought the sad feeling of urgency to settle down.

 

Urgency? What am I talking about? Hell. I’m still young.

 

Then again, I have younger friends that are getting engaged and married right before my eyes. Even the receptionist at the office (who is my age) and my ex-classmate (who is a year younger) are carrying their first child. Despite the morning sickness, I’m envious of them.

 

Yuyu got it right when she said that it seems that time is still for the both of us while our friends are growing up. They’re worrying about future childcare while we still worry if we’ll get grounded if we don’t come home by a certain time. Point is, they’re taking the next step into adulthood, so to speak.

 

A male friend pointed out that we could have had all those a long time ago but we don’t because we’re choosy. Excuse me? Don’t I have the right to choose? Look what happen when you just settle for anything *points at Britney Spears*?

 

Another male friend said not to worry. There’s the right time for everything. A lady deserves to have someone profess his deepest love to her, sooner or later and to have that, I have to wait. Haven’t I waited long enough?

 

Sigh.

 

Whatever it is, as much as I would like to think that I gained some grounds by chasing, I’m probably treading empty air. I would rather wait and enjoy my singleness with my girls.

 

Any of my single girls would like to toast to that?

Tagged: I Can’t Seem To Publish A Decent Post These Days

This one is courtesy of the lovely B.

Tag Numero Uno

This is me in the office on Wednesday afternoon. Was on the phone trying to find a copy of a 2007 Board paper with no luck -_-”

Law & Order:

 

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right NOW!

2. DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair..  just take a picture.

3. Post that picture with NO editing.

4. Post these instructions with the picture.

5. Tag 10 people to do this:

 

I’m tagging:

1. Eda Mama Miow
2. Acap
3. Julia
4. Yuyu
5. Syafiq (which I don’t think he will :p)
6. Shairah
7. Liza
8. Tashi
9. Fana
10. Diha

Tag Numero Dos

ONE.

If your lover betrayed you, how will you react?

I’d devise a vengeful plot that involves badgers.

 

TWO.

If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

Earn billions travelling around the globe, buy an island and retire early with all the books I can read. 

 

THREE.

Whose butt would you like to kick?

… … … …

 

FOUR.

What would you do with a billion dollars?

Spread evenly between:

1. Putting them into investment so that they’ll earn more money.
2. Necessities and luxuries for the family and pressies for friends.
3. A big house with a view, all the books & clothes that I need.
4. Donations to UNICEF and WWF.

 

FIVE.

Would you fall in love with a best friend?

Maybe.

 

SIX.

Which do you think is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Both. 

 

SEVEN.

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

*Eyes rolling* Next question please

 

EIGHT.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Nothing really. There’s always another fish in the sea. 

 

NINE.

If you were to act with someone, who would it be? Your bf/gf or actor/actress?

Where would I start? Hmm… Ed Westwick, Taylor Lautner, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Johnny Depp, George Clooney… and the list goes on…

 

TEN.

Would you invite your ex-bf/ex-gf to your wedding?

Yes. Why not?

 

ELEVEN.

How would you see yourself in ten years time?

Landed my dream job *Wishing & Hoping*

 

TWELVE.

What’s your greatest fear?

Driving and lizards.

 

THIRTEEN.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Soon to be Malaysian great journalist. 

 

FOURTEEN.

Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Single and rich first and married later (hopefully not poor).

 

FIFTEEN.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Check the time and snuggle back into the pillows.

 

SIXTEEN.

Would you give all in a relationship?

Anyone who knows me would say “NO”.

 

SEVENTEEN.

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

May the best man win.

 

EIGHTEEN.

Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?

I will forgive but not forget. If I feel vengeful, then I would avenge before I forgive x)

 

NINETEEN.

Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?

Depending on the day I might love being single but sometimes I wish that I’m in a relationship.

 

Soaking Up The Sun (Hopefully)

It’s only the first week of the year but we (myself including colleagues Shiba and Siti) feel exhausted, burnt-out and frustrated the way one would at the end of the year. Contributing factors include but not limited to:

1. The fact while everybody else were away on their extended holidays, we were in the office having our own kind of holiday (since the bosses are out, we had our own little fun) between the anthill required work to run a department.
2. Men-related problems. No explaination needed.
3. Economic downturn = slow market = less business = no work = work driven withdrawal symptoms

To make ourselves feel better (hopefully), it was proposed that we go for a refreshing girls only holiday. Siti and I are looking forward for tranquility and relaxation while Shiba is hoping for a holiday romance (which includes plans of her being a damsel in distress when a hot guy is around).

After devising the possible itenary, we hopped on the WWW highway for some beaches, islands and highlands in the Malaysian peninsula. After much confusion over hotels & resorts rates and such, we limited our options to (a) Pulau Perhentian, (b) Pulau Redang and (c) Awana Kijal. Coincidently, every one of these destinations are located in Terengganu.

Personally, I would prefer going up to the highlands but since I recently went to Cameron last Syawal, the beach sounds nice. At least I won’t die freezing while showering.

So everyone, any suggestions about these three?